Cat



The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears

August 31 2014

Yet again pete is the one cuddling the baby to sleep. I feel so fail even though I know he just wants to help. L

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August 25 2014
I could write about so many things.  I want to write about so many things.  The things that upset me about the world today.  The good and bad that I sit and ponder.  The internet, the consequences of the internet. How so many grownup, ‘mature’ people in power have the ability to act like 2 year olds, or are simply complete idiots. How the world feels like it’s gone backwards, not forwards, recently. How people seem to think that violence is the answer without even looking for alternatives. I could write about my life. My job, the ups, the downs, the crazy clients, the awesome bookings.  The people that make you tear your hair out.  How much I love my job. How much I hate that I feel guilty for working late to make sure I *do* a good job.  How much more I hate the look Pete gives me every.single.time I’m late home because I’ve been trying to get a good job done without enough paid hours to do it.  How my new friends (mum friends) were much less effort than I thought they might be, but how I’m more tired now than I was with a newborn and have so many more days where I just can’t cope.  How I’m still terrible at this work-life balance thing, especially when it needs to be a work-baby-friends-husband balance and we just don’t have the hang of that yet.  How glad I am that soccer season is over and one less thing to frustrate me.  How worried I get that Pete and I are losing the ability to communicate that we worked so hard to find.  Losing it in the circle of defensiveness, insecurity, frustration, broken sleep and misunderstandings.  I’m tired, and struggling, and working so hard at everything but it just isn’t all falling together. I’m worrying, too much probably, about Chloe going to daycare in October.  But most of all I’m just tired. And it makes me sad that Pete gets annoyed at me for that, too.  

I could write about so many things.  I want to write about so many things.  The things that upset me about the world today.  The good and bad that I sit and ponder.  The internet, the consequences of the internet. How so many grownup, ‘mature’ people in power have the ability to act like 2 year olds, or are simply complete idiots. How the world feels like it’s gone backwards, not forwards, recently. How people seem to think that violence is the answer without even looking for alternatives. I could write about my life. My job, the ups, the downs, the crazy clients, the awesome bookings.  The people that make you tear your hair out.  How much I love my job. How much I hate that I feel guilty for working late to make sure I *do* a good job.  How much more I hate the look Pete gives me every.single.time I’m late home because I’ve been trying to get a good job done without enough paid hours to do it.  How my new friends (mum friends) were much less effort than I thought they might be, but how I’m more tired now than I was with a newborn and have so many more days where I just can’t cope.  How I’m still terrible at this work-life balance thing, especially when it needs to be a work-baby-friends-husband balance and we just don’t have the hang of that yet.  How glad I am that soccer season is over and one less thing to frustrate me.  How worried I get that Pete and I are losing the ability to communicate that we worked so hard to find.  Losing it in the circle of defensiveness, insecurity, frustration, broken sleep and misunderstandings.  I’m tired, and struggling, and working so hard at everything but it just isn’t all falling together. I’m worrying, too much probably, about Chloe going to daycare in October.  But most of all I’m just tired. And it makes me sad that Pete gets annoyed at me for that, too.  

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August 22 2014
#toocute #lilmissblueeyes

#toocute #lilmissblueeyes

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August 18 2014

one step at a time. 

# we have to start all over again with self-settling Chloe.  But it’s harder this time - when we did it previously we would always go in if she was ‘emotional crying’ but not if she was just protesting.  This time round, the problem is that she is emotional crying because Mum’s left the room.  Not quite sure how to handle that one, but I’m gonna do my best. 

# Bringing routine back in.  Maybe this will help with that one ^^  we’ve lost the routine more than intended, and I’m hoping if we get it back we can not only get our happy baby back that doesn’t cry every time I leave the room, but also get these solids into her more thoroughly, reduce the required milk intake and get the full night’s sleep back again! 

I might have to let my friends know I’m gonna be hibernating a bit though :( just until we get a new routine settled. I find that it’s best to stick to a really fixed routine for a week or so and then relax it slightly if we want to after that.  Part of me is saying ‘is it worth it, you’re off to the US in 3 weeks’ and the other part of me is saying ‘just do it.  It’ll be fine!’. 
The other issue is trying to work out how to make the routine fit.  If I start in the morning and work on what I’d like it to be I get stuck at the final nap.  If I work backwards… I still get stuck at lunchtime.

(cut below for random ramblings about routine times because I need to work this out)

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August 10 2014
what we did today :)

what we did today :)

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August 08 2014
This makes a lot of sense. It should be spread far and wide. 

This makes a lot of sense. It should be spread far and wide. 

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August 03 2014

Bucket list

Places to see & things to do
- trek the Himalayas
- Bora Bora & the Maldives
- Iceland
- Greek island hopping
- Great Wall of China
- Jesus’ Middle East

Secondary list:
- Galapagos & Amazon
- Alaska cruise
- Serengeti/Ngorogoro Crater
- Victoria Falls

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August 01 2014

In the last 10 days this little girl has gotten really good at sitting up.  She can’t get herself there yet, but if we sit her up she stays.  It was really awesome to watch because you could literally see her getting stronger - last Monday, she could sit up for about half a second, and through the week she stayed there for a little bit longer every time I sat her up until she stays there for several minutes at a time now!  And then she topples over, which just makes me giggle :)

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July 25 2014
is she cute or is she cute!

is she cute or is she cute!

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July 15 2014

Chloe, 5 and a half months.

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July 13 2014

England, England.  I’ve been slowly processing our trip.  Busy, crazily so.  EVERYONE wanted to see us, meet the baby. Some that didn’t make the effort/couldn’t get there that were disappointing.  Some that surprised me by the efforts they did make to see us. Working hard to not overdo it with Chloe but at the same time get to see everyone we could and get time with as many as we could.  Not enough time in Lincoln, too much time in Yorkshire.  Bristol was about right, I think, and Bournemouth was, well, just perfect to round it all off. Next time, we’ll plan some time to ourselves as well! 

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July 08 2014


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July 07 2014
1.30pm: I won!

1.30pm: I won!

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Today Chloe and I start the grand bottle crusade (read: she has to take a bottle before I leave her alone with her dad again on Wednesday and we have not had ANY luck so far.).  Wish me luck, and LOTS of patience! 

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July 01 2014

Things on my mind.

In an attempt to get this lot out of my head so I can go back to sleep (woke up at 2.30…baby woke up at 3.30 and went straight back to sleep after a feed…now it’s 4.30 and I’m STILL awake):

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About

Cat: "the bouncy sleepy bar of chocolate (that dances)."

I am: Wife, sister, Christian, dancer, friend, artist, admin. Lover of rainbows, dancing, sunshine, beauty, waves, waterfalls, dolphins, walking, shopping, chocolate and most of all, other people. Oh, and Australia.

If you want to know anything else, please feel free to ask.

"If you get the chance to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance."
-Lee Ann Womack

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